I've always been quite proud of myself based on the fact that i'm able to stay in control of the situation, or at least my emotions. however i've had more major screw ups in the past month than i ever did before this. i'm doing things i've never done, or didn't think i would ever do. i'm losing my cool, losing my mind. maybe i've already lost it.

To those who know me pretty well i've always been kinda reculsive, i don't feel comfortable around people and i treasure my solitude alot. but at this very point in time, i'm feeling alone. very alone. i don't know why. i can only say i hate this feeling. it's really scary. i've never felt so helpless, so lost, so lonely. i've never yearned for company the way i'm yearning now, but i have no idea who to turn to. there is someone on my mind but... this is probably what they term "karma". i made someone very very dear to me helpless, scared, worried without so much of a thought, and i'm paying for it. punishment? perhaps.

I have no idea how to carry on from here. either way, i've lost. i'm lost. only one person can help me. does that person know? will that person know? will that person even bother?

superwoman? not me.i'm juz a human. your average go through the range of emotions human. someone who will eventually break down. then again, haven't i already??

silly.
foolish.
helpless.
hoping.
numb...