u noe it's super pms the moment u start thinking crap over a random remark made. especially when u're doing something non-brain related like washin the tank. ha.

oh well. hmmm. honestly a few things have been happening lately, though not all to me. however, i'm apparently the only one in the know, and i suppose it's either by pure coincidence i happen to be the only one following from start to finish, or i'm too free, or.... i wonder. i have no idea. i think it's appropriate u dun ask pple such mundane questions when they're like in a crisis right?? and so the story goes. no matter how it ends (we're both hoping for the PC & MC option), it's really up to her i guess. i can only do so much. like sitting there quietly & dumbly listening. i have to admit though, it's something i'm actually quite good at. heh.

like i said, i was washing the turts' tank when i started thinking. things all happen for a reason. it's all a matter of perspective. i'm not really sure how much i have changed & matured over the years, but i do seem to look at things differently now. certain feelings are still around, that i can't deny. what has probably changed is the way i'm handling them. i dun really handle them, to be frank. i juz chuck everything into a box and close it. call it running away, if u will. at least it's not bothering me or anyone.

was listening to an interview on the way home. the celeb lost her mum on CNY eve. her way of looking at life n living it has changed to a certain extent. by her admission, she's alot more cheerful now, plans less long-term, n worries less. i see a certain similarity. i dun worry, i dun plan long-term ambitious plans. pple may sneer at me for being lazy or cowardly to venture out, but i'm not exactly sick of bullying babies n drawing blood yet, so i'm not really looking for a change. dreams and wishes i will have, but practicality n reponsibility hold priority. typical capricorn i think.

btw, bb sulky's growing well. from half, he's now only about 1/3 smaller than his neighbour, the great insatisable shrypy.--> this fellow... haiz... juz finished dnnr, started attempting to swallow gravel. siao liao. he's almost the breadth of his tank space too. with the filter n log it's beginning to look like squatters. oh dear. time for perm separation.

finally made some plans for my leave. instead of flying down south, i'll be on a coach up north to genting for a few days. trying to save $$ for my CNY trip. heh. but at least i'm still taking a break.

which reminds me. pauline's going to be my new colleague.

bedtime.