suddenly came to this realization today. half the time i'm in agony, but it's all self inflicted. the other party doesn't even know, let alone bother or care. come to think of it, why then in the 1st did i even bother to go through so much crap??

hmmm.... enlightenment is good. now for the hard part. can my heart follow my mind? i think what i think because my heart wills my mind to. stoopid. run half marathon liao still not enough. oh well. i guess that's what all nothing better to do pple do. heh.

went to bed with an impulse last night, woke up this morning and did it. sent an impersonal sms, got an impersonal answer. sometimes i juz have to laugh at the similarities between us. feeling a little better somehow. i hope.

maybe, juz maybe, i could look at pple differently, the way they look at me. isn't it simple logic? if i treat u as a friend juz like any other, the way u treat me, i wouldn't be hallucinating so much anymore right? right. so why am i getting all excited by myself?! salah. so salah. haiz.

i guess life is like that. i'm comtemplating alot of things. i think i'm going to procrastinate on things.

my bed is beckoning. nitez.