fear. something we encounter almost everyday. some fears are rational, and within 'acceptable limits'. some are irrational, these are known as phobias.

phobia of needles, phobia of insects, ghosts are pretty normal. sometimes out of nowhere there comes an absurd one, and we just have to laugh at it.

weird. what am i talking about?? honestly, i don't exactly have an idea. maybe i just feel like expressing myself. maybe my irrational fear of losing what i won is manifesting itself.

things have been happening over the past week. the unthinkable happened. i broke my promise. but i don't wish to just conveniently hide everything under the carpet, or whatever available space there is. true, i may be a 'peace loving animal', but ultimately, i am still an 'animal' with emotions.

sigh. that was so dramatic. but point is, i really do just wish sense has been delivered somehow, and i won't be kept out the castle again. heck. it's MY castle now... grr...

was that an animal growl?? haha..

by the way, i'm not on leave. i'm doing my first afternoon shift. hopefully i'll survive.