looks like i write only when i'm 'provoked', so to speak. seems like it happens every time. from the looks of it, i may well be blogging again tomorrow. we'll see.
before i get started on my rubbish..
1. nuance: a subtle difference or distinction in expression, meaning, response, etc
2. obscure: not clear to the understanding; hard to perceive: obscure motivations.
3. euphemism: the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.
anyway.
i was just wondering. i don't exactly erect a shrine, nor do i 'worship' incessantly. does it mean i feel less, love less?
is everyone at some point in time guilty of imposing a template set of expectations of different people even if they insist it is not so? i do have to admit i do it occasionally.
honestly, i don't exactly like it when i'm being asked certain questions that 'mislead' me to think that certain situations will happen, but obviously don't in the end. it gets me really pissed off. ok. i know i'm no saint either. ask if i want something right?? noted.
how truthful is considered truthful? if i told someone only 50% of the real situation, am i being truthful or am i considered a liar still?? ok. maybe not a liar. but am i being honest?
once again, my sullen attitude has been an issue. i had my 'confirmation' talk with the boss and my section head just two days ago. apparently people get offended by me. well well. it's two way traffic, if they really do need to know. whatever.
it's really weird how the situation has evolved. from awkward friendliness to total ignorance, as in ignoring each other's presence totally. what am i supposed to say?? hi? bye? sorry? how's life?
maybe i remain a thorn somehow. maybe i just refuse to integrate. maybe i don't have the chance to. maybe. but it does look like we'll be kept apart for a long time to come.
i seem to contradict myself very often. do i or do i not? yes or no?? like it? no? probably insecurity's at work again. damn. ironically, insecurity makes a very good security guard for me, almost never leaving me. wonderful.
before i get started on my rubbish..
1. nuance: a subtle difference or distinction in expression, meaning, response, etc
2. obscure: not clear to the understanding; hard to perceive: obscure motivations.
3. euphemism: the substitution of a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.
anyway.
i was just wondering. i don't exactly erect a shrine, nor do i 'worship' incessantly. does it mean i feel less, love less?
is everyone at some point in time guilty of imposing a template set of expectations of different people even if they insist it is not so? i do have to admit i do it occasionally.
honestly, i don't exactly like it when i'm being asked certain questions that 'mislead' me to think that certain situations will happen, but obviously don't in the end. it gets me really pissed off. ok. i know i'm no saint either. ask if i want something right?? noted.
how truthful is considered truthful? if i told someone only 50% of the real situation, am i being truthful or am i considered a liar still?? ok. maybe not a liar. but am i being honest?
once again, my sullen attitude has been an issue. i had my 'confirmation' talk with the boss and my section head just two days ago. apparently people get offended by me. well well. it's two way traffic, if they really do need to know. whatever.
it's really weird how the situation has evolved. from awkward friendliness to total ignorance, as in ignoring each other's presence totally. what am i supposed to say?? hi? bye? sorry? how's life?
maybe i remain a thorn somehow. maybe i just refuse to integrate. maybe i don't have the chance to. maybe. but it does look like we'll be kept apart for a long time to come.
i seem to contradict myself very often. do i or do i not? yes or no?? like it? no? probably insecurity's at work again. damn. ironically, insecurity makes a very good security guard for me, almost never leaving me. wonderful.
posted by turtzzz @ 11:21 PM
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